A Few Tips To Understand A Woman’s Sex Drive

It is a common misconception that women have lower sex drives then men.  Because of social stigmas early on in a woman’s life (i.e. slut, etc) she learns to keep her sex drive under wraps.  It’s not generally until late thirties even early forties that she lets those ideas go and understands that she owns her body.

 

The goal of getting a woman aroused is essentially “preheating” her.  That’s right-like an oven.  She is generally slow to turn on and slow to cool down.  On average it takes a woman twenty minutes to reach an orgasm.  This is about fifteen minutes of preheating.

 

So some of you may be thinking what the hell is preheating?  In this sense it is not only physical foreplay but also emotional foreplay.  It just so happens that at this point in evolution women are still emotionally centered.  Women use sex as a way to emotionally connect.  When this is understood by a woman’s partner, good sex will be inevitable.

 

How To Get Her To Do What You Want (in the bedroom)

 

1. Make her feel safe- safety and security and sex go hand and hand.  She has to know that you will not look down on her or judge her.  She also has to feel like you are able to handle whatever she gives to you (and the intensity).
2. Support her- Support her efforts to be as frisky/dirty as she wants.
3. Encourage her- Encourage her to express her wild side and be sure to give positive reinforcement during and after!

 

Because women are emotional these tips work well to ease her into her into the power of her own sex drive.  With all of this being said, I’m also a big fan of sexting (to get your partner in the mood).

 

If you have not tries this, you may want to- send a sexy text mid day to your woman but keep it on the emotional lines.  Here’s an example: “I can’t wait for you to get home, I miss you and can’t wait to get close to you” or “You make me so happy- I want you more and more when I think about us.”

Good Luck!

Ciao,

DD

Getting Through a Breakup

 

Perhaps one of the hardest things we have to do (or at least it seems that way at the time) is getting through a breakup.  While we often still have feelings for the person  we are breaking up with, there is that critical point when one or two of you believe that the relationship will not work.  This is one of the most difficult things to deal with and often leaves us feeling like we never got a chance to prove ourselves.

 

With that being said, one of the most important lessons that I have learned (and I have seen first and second hand) is grieving and missing someone does not necessarily mean that you want to be with that person.  It simply means you’ve lost something that is/was valuable to you and that hurts.  It is imperative for people to learn how to not mistake the grief of an ended relationship as love –it is not.

 

After any relationship ends there is a ‘cooling off” period, a period to get to reconnect with yourself again.  Often in unhealthy relationships we tend to merge identities together (which is often at the core of dissatisfaction in a relationship).  It is because of this that taking some time after a breakup to be by yourself is important for your overall health.  If you find yourself ending one relationship and instantly getting into another there is a potential problem.  That problem is often fear of being alone.  This pattern is what often gets someone into a continuous pattern of unhealthy relationships.

 

Revenge is no appealing and is often something we regret later on.  After a breakup don’t try to get revenge on the person (especially if they have broken it off with you).  You will look crazy and it will get around!  I tell people all the time that the best “revenge” is to see your ex a year later with a fabulous life!

 

With that being said, after a breakup it is imperative to start looking at you and working on you to be the best you that you can be!

 

Just a few tips on breakups as they unfortunately are part of life.

 

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.– John F. Kennedy

 

Ciao,

DD